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The Nash Equilibrium vs Dudes Who Call With Ace High
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Author: Marc Weinberg
I am not going to bore you with a dry article that uses Game Theory to explain online poker. So for those of you who were worried that you didn't have a comprehensive understanding of matrix theory and so would not be able to benefit from my treatise, fear not! I am going to share a little secret with you instead: 90% of your opponents at your next online poker table think that "matrix theory" has something to do with different colored pills and the metaphysical questions they raised. That 90% thumb-suck is also the extent of the advanced mathematics in this article, which relies instead on the same common sense wisdom that enabled my ancestors to borrow an ox wagon and get the hell out of Lithuania before more Cossacks arrived.
The problem with online poker is that the Cossacks are coming once again, or at least their descendants, along with Lithuanians, Latvians, and the rest of Eastern Europe. Last night I played at a final table against two Russians, a Latvian playing under the name BetzelBub, which I am sure terrifies fellow Latvian grinders but just made me giggle, a Bulgarian, a Croatian, and an American. The two of us stood firm against this foreign invasion, and I can now report that calling the river with an Ace when there are none on the board is standard operating procedure east of the Rhine.
These Slavic gentlemen are friskier punters than Orientals, my benchmark for poker craziness up until now ("I laise you with my frush draw" does strike fear in my heart, but only when I hear it in live games, it doesn't have the same punch when typed into a dialog box). But maybe it's just that the whole world loves to gamble while I alone strive for that mutual equilibrium where none of us at the table are required to unilaterally alter our actions. But I must be dreaming because whenever I put in a brilliant bluff after the river I found that these ruffians still wanted to gamble. Don't they realize that the gambling component of no-limit hold-em ends when you call?
I have no problem with opponents who bluff me out of my socks holding cards that my dog would refrain from eating, and he eats grass and his own leavings. By all means raise me with your Ace high and show it to me after I fold like the Republican Guard. But don't call me with that garbage.
My point is that in the online poker trenches, as with most other real world locales other than tollbooths, where making change quickly and precisely is a real skill man, there is no place for postgraduate mathematicians. Russel Crowe isn't coming back to play any more of you wonks, so stop thinking that your theorizing about bluff frequencies is cool. Furthermore, it doesn't help at all if you are fighting according to one set of game rules, say the official laws of fencing and your opponent enters the ring with a sock full of spark plugs and his sharp teeth; the two of you are not playing the same game, which you acknowledge as the subtleties of your beautiful mind are swiftly beaned into a coma.
What is my conclusion? Aim low and make sure you have a pair, any pair, before you try to bluff BetzelBub after the river card has been dealt. It sucks to lose to Ace high, even if you do have a PhD hanging from the wall.
Related Poker Articles And News Items:
> Online Poker Strategy The Absolute Poker Way
> No Limit Hold'em Cash Game Strategy - Betting On The River
> No-Limit Hold Em Cash Game Strategy - Sample Hand Analysis
> The Ghost In The Machine - Reading Poker Hands
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